she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
