Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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