You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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