the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
