I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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