I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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