Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
