i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
