When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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