Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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