Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
