We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Randomize
