How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
