this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
