Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Your cock deserves a montage
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
