So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
time to smoke my breakfast
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
