If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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