This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
