The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
