So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
