i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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