No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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