The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
