I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Enjoy the penises
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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