Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
