there's paper in my vomit.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
did i walk over a car last night?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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