another moral hangover. fuck.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
this will be a night to untag.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
