Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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