Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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