the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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