My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
