no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
