This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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