His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
