she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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