walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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