Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
