Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
