I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize