Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
