Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
