Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
