i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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