32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
