Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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