In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
