people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
