there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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