I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
