i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
