Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
