if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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