I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
