I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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