margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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