She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I didn't notice because vodka
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize