Just fell off a train. Bad.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
