I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
