I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
