You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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