Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
