I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
