I've blown a few things in my day
if only i could text you this smell
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he fucked my hip out of place.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
