I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
