but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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