My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You took a bar mat shot.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize