WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
