Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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