Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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